And if you don’t mind all that crap and ignore it you might end up sitting in front of an angry judge who’s just waiting to bang his wooden hammer on the table, screaming: “Guilty! This man is guilty!” No, the man is not guilty! He didn’t stick to the rules, yes. But only because the rules are stupid!

Take disclaimers for example. Who the hell would create such a dumb piece of uninteresting text if it would not decrease the risk of facing serious legal issues? Yeah, some folks would probably still create it because they find it cool. Or because they don’t got enough real content for their website. I don’t know.

Whatever, disclaimers stink! It’s always the same trash, webmasters are telling people that they’re not responsible for anything and can’t be charged in case of trouble.

Lots of those disclaimers ain’t even legally valid. But why should one be concerned by the law as long as he got a fat disclaimer protecting him from all the world’s evil? I mean those evil users that tend to asperse innocent webmasters would be alienated by the disclaimer, wouldn’t they? The truth is that this protection sucks.

But disclaimers are not even the worst part. The German internet legality is a way bigger bitch. As a German webmaster, you have to place a legal notice on your website, telling everyone about your real name, address and contact information! Great! Love it! … Not!

Yeah, all this crap is annoying me so much that I just decided to take this very article as my disclaimer. So my disclaimer is special at least…

Of course, it’s no real protection, but why should I care? It’s the internet.

I’m 20 years of age, why the hell should I be in need of viagra? There’s nothing wrong with my virility! You’re not getting anywhere when you send me mails or try to post on my blog.

This blog is not the right place to advertise viagra. Totally not.

You know, comments are meant to be related to the posts. And if you take a look at the topics of Criticizer.net you may find out that they’re not really related to sex. What gets you to believe that you should talk about sex only when commenting a post like “My Favorite Firefox Add-Ons”? The post doesn’t even contain add-ons to download porn!

Of course, you could talk about viagra when commenting this very post, but fuck off with those automated messages, I hate them! They’re not even displayed, as I gotta approve them first!

So please, if you want to advertise your products here, let me see that you at least read my post. And please comment in the language that the post is written in, i.e. English.

Trying to advertise viagra by posting comments written in German on a blog mostly about internet and programming issues that is written in English is just bullshit! Stop doing such a dumb shit, get a normal job! Don’t waste your time guys…

I don’t mind them bashing their own brain but I’m really not interested in the outcome! If you get the sudden urge to beat the hell outta your own brain cells, then just do it. But do it silently.

My own brain is still working and this might be the reason why I dislike meaningless sequences of letters and numbers. But I also dislike other kinds of spam.

Maybe you know blog comment spam. Yeah, you won’t find a lot of spam on my blogs. But that’s just because they’re moderated. There are people trying to spam on my blogs as well. Trying to advertise viagra, photo cameras or other stuff. I mean what the fuck? This blog is about internet issues and criticism!

Of course, some spam posts are automatically generated. But still, is it really necessary to do this kind of advertising? Can’t they think of something more original? Or can’t they afford to buy some traffic to their sites? Huh? They really get on my nerves!

Or spam in forums. Most forums are moderated anyway so the spam will be deleted after a couple of minutes. Now someone please tell me why there are still so many people thinking this would a valuable alternative to common advertising! Who the hell clicks on those links? OK, some mods or admins will probably take a look but I bet they won’t really like the site that’s being advertised. So what’s the point of forum spam?

All that spam is nothing but annoying. People don’t need to be proud if they managed to hit some keys with their head! It’s not that great, I could do it as well. The reason why I don’t do it is that I like my brain too much. And the reason why I don’t advertise by spamming is that I don’t need to use such annoying methods. Enough said.

Society says that Christmas is about love. But I’m probably not the only one who hates buying gifts. Still, it’s a part of Christmas. And it’s a way to show some love…

Society says that Christmas is about love. Yes, if you’re very glad you can make someone smile for a couple of minutes. But if your gift sucks the receiver will just feel ashamed. He hates the gift but doesn’t want to hurt you so he gotta pretend to like it. Maybe you will even notice that he’s not being completely honest with you. So you may feel ashamed as well.

Society says that Christmas is about love. But it’s also about pretending, about lying. You probably remember the lies you was told as a kid. Your parents presumably told you that there was some strange but friendly creature which flies around and presents you with the stuff you wished for. Someday you eventually found out about the lie. If you’re still believing in that crap, then this blog is not suited for you.

Lies for the sake of love. ‘Cause it’s Christmas! Don’t you love it? It’s Christmas, with all its beautiful little presents!

And with all its stupid trashy gifts. Things you hate. But you’re not allowed to show the hate. So yell out loud how glad you are! “Oh, that’s such a nice present! Thank you so much!” Bullshit. You don’t really want to say that. You rather want to cry because it’s so terribly bad. And what’s even worse is that you feel guilty when you finally decide to throw it away some days later.

Still society says that Christmas is about love…

Life itself ain’t serious. See, life’s a joke: You are born, do some unimportant stuff and then you die. Haha! Funny, heh? Yeah, I almost laughed myself to death. Oops, I did it again. I joked about death. Shame on me.

No seriously, all things are neutral by nature. Naturally, there are neither funny nor sad things. And it sucks that most people go through life with an earnestness as if they were part of a huge funeral. Take it easy. Don’t forget to live.

I mean what is it that changes if you decide to take it all with some humor? You won’t be less productive or successful. A smile on your face doesn’t prevent you from working. You will just have more fun.

But fun sounds kinda dangerous, right? And why is that? Because our society tells us so. Fun is usually associated with sin. Well, then it gotta be a sin to live! Maybe we should entomb ourselves one another, this would be alright I suppose. As long as we did it in a serious manner. Oh wait, I’m just joking about death again! I shouldn’t do that. Because society tells me not to do it.

The shocking truth is: Death doesn’t get worse if you tell jokes about it. And life doesn’t get worse if you smile at it.

And that’s why all those moaners really get on my nerves. Get a life and smile! Even if it seems to be dangerous.